Aahz (theonlytrueaahz) wrote in wpf,

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Tables, Ladders & Chairs, Oh My!

WPF: Melee went off without a hitch on Friday night!

What? You don't believe me?

Yeah, yeah, so there was a hitch or two, but the show still friggin rocked!!

By the numbers:

$156 in prize money awarded
34 pieces performed
18 competitors
10 knockouts
4 chair shots
2 Tag Teams
2 WPF virgins
1 promotion
1 Tables, Ladders & Chairs match
and more show than you could shake a stick at!!

Not a great night for those flying solo in the world of poetry-entertainment, but those with back-up (managers, factions, etc) showed that there is strength (and success) in numbers!

Okay, so we moved the start time up from 8:30 to 8:00 and opened the doors @ 7:00. So, what did the poets do? Almost none of them showed up until after 8:00. BAD POETS!!!

We had to trim back a couple of bouts in order to make up some of the lost time, but the show was amazing all the same with some serious "up-and-comer" talent on display, plus some big hits from the more experienced competitors on hand.....

Bout #1 - Cover Bout - Fitz vs. Wyzer Than You

We opened the show with a cover bout between two members of the The Bar Code Bandits looking to hone their performance skills...

Ironically, both Fitz and Wyzer Than You selected to cover poems by Geoff Trenchard which I suppose is a tribute to this wonderful WPF superstar. The San Jose audience's still love Geoff's work, even when he's absent and it's being read by others Wink

Fitz's performance won over the judges, though, earning him both a knockout and a promotion to the Bantamweight Division!

Wyzer may have stolen Fitz' sombrero, but Fitz got the judges votes!

Bout #2 - Standard Bout - Roshmi vs. Chloe Larston

If you're a fan of sexy young ladies then this was definetly a must-see bout!!!

Not only did it feature two of the WPF's most talented Vixens, Roshmi Ganguli and Chloe Larston, but Chloe was accompanied to the stage by her new manager: Widdle Wabbit!!

In the very first round, Roshmi showed both the audience and the judges how she's managed to remain undefeated and scored an immediate knockout with the judges, but Chloe came back hard in the second, scoring a knockout of her own with a love poem to her manager delivered while they both cavorted with the audience and the ref Very Happy

The third round was a split decision which set the tone for the evening as Chloe pulled out an upset, giving her a much needed victory and spoiling Roshmi's perfect record. Lesson learned - management can do wonders to turn around a career: Chloe's won two straight since signing on with Widdle Wabbit!

Roshmi is all class on the mic...

...but a good manager goes a long way in the world of poetry-entertainment.

Three great reasons to attend WPF: Melee- the WPF Vixens!!

The Knutzy S. Burrows Show

The Knutzy S. Burroughs...er...I mean...Burrows show was as exciting as ever, opening with Knutzy introducing all present to Widdle Wabbit

Knutzy seeks some free advice for getting out of the basement

Rejected by the hottest manager in the WPF (in more ways than one), Knutzy bantered with the crowd a bit before introducing the evenings guest: Ratpack Slim!

Little did the Rat know that we had a surprise for him...

...a birthday cake delivered by none other than Sheriff Dee-Monik herself! Devilsfood, we presume Wink

But, of course, The Heartbreak King is not known for lettng opponents grab the spotlight, so he he delivered a birthday present himself: declaring the upcoming Main Event bout to be a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match!!!

Bout #3 Short Bout - Stacey Everheart vs Andrew 'Ace' Rosas

Our next bout was supposed to be a standard bout, but had to be trimmed back due to time considerations
{*cough*late poets*cough*}

The Bearded Bitch Of Babble-On Stacey Everheart faced off against the WPF's newest sensation: Ace Rosas

Ace was in top form in this, his second outing on a performance poetry stage, and scored a clean knockout by tugging the heartstrings of both audience and judges alike.

Stacey reaches out to the crowd with Latin love poetry...

...but Ace shows 'em what performance poetry is all about!

Bout #4 - Standard Bout - Unsane vs. The Mortician

Then things got a little crazy...

Although we all witnessed Unsane commit suicide after his devastating loss at WPF: Bar Brawl on Tuesday, he'd apparently made a deal with the devil (or perhaps the Sheriff had sumthin' to do with it) and he found his way to the stage at Melee.

Luckily, Ref Aahz was prepared for such an eventuality, and had called in the WPF's resident expert on all things dead: Kyle 'The Mortician' Bowen!!

The two traded knockouts ni the first two rounds, but in the end, Kyle's tale of his adventures on the wrong side of town weren't enough and the judges awarded the bout to Unsane in a split decision.

That's Unsane on the left, Kyle Bowen on the right, and Stacey Everheart in the foreground

Bout #5 - Short Bout - SJ Sharkie vs. Kristoff The Pimp

Another bout trimmed for time's sake {*cough*}....

SJ Sharkie was back after a month's sabbatical (and despite the home team's devastating recent losses) to face off against the WPF: Melee booker - Kristoff The Poet.

Both poured everything they had onto the stage, but the judges still gave Kristoff the knockout (and it certainly wasn't because he recruits them ... was it? Wink )

SJ Sharkie was just staying with his namesake's record...

...while Kristoff found himself comfortably in the winner's circle

Bout #6 - Short Bout - Poetic Justice vs. Colter

A true Rookie bout with the evening's two WPF virgin's going head to head!

This may have been a first-time outing for both Poetic Justice and Colter, but you certainly couldn't tell from the quality of their work! Both did an excellent job of delivering their message and the crowd was solidly split betwen the two when asked fo their reactions.

The judges, however, have the final say, and the WPF doesn't follow the "everyone's a winner" philosophy of some shows. The judges struggled but made their decision and gave Colter one in the win column. They may not both have been winners on Friday, but they both popped their WPF cherries and gave amazing performances. Many in attendance are looking forward to future work from both of these newcomers!

The curvaceous Poetic Justice...

...and the "not so curvaceous" Colter.

Bout #7 - Tag Team - Cuspicious Cuspodians vs. Caligula 6

Time for some tag team action!!

The top two tag teams in the WPF went at it no holds barred in a three-round bout to determine tag team supremacy! this was a highly anticipated bout and both the Cuspicious Cuspodians and Caligula 6 showed the capacity crowd what tag team spoken word is all about!!

But before the bout could begin, the N.P.O. had a special announcement to make...

Their ranks were swelling once again, as they announced that none other than the #1 contender for the Cruiserweight gold, Big Nate Da Poet would be joining the New Poetry Order!!

Caligula 6 scored a knockout in the first round with a little help from fellow N.P.O. member Anthony R. Miller...

Proving once again that it's good to have friends in the squared circle.

But the Cuspodians fought back in round two, taking four of five votes and rocking the confidence of the perceived favorites, with fellow Cusp members cheering them on from ringside! In the end, though it just wasn't enough, and Caligula 6 scored another knockout in the third round to secure their place on the top of the Tag Team charts.

Nightlight and Caustic: the Cuspicious Cuspodians

Caligula 6 brings it Lucha Libre style!

The Main Event - Ratpack Slim vs. Anthony R. Miller

And now, what you've all been waiting for....

The main event pitting Los Angeles' wrestling/poet phenom Ratpack Slim against WPF founder, San Jose's very own poetic wrestling visionary, Anthony R. Miller in a no-holds barred, TLC match!!!

Slim opened the bout with his signature piece, only to have The Showstopper utter his immortal line "Caligula 6! Bring out the tables!" The showmanship of the tables combined with the power of the performance scored Anthony a knockout in the first round.

But Ratpack was not to be denied and launched into his ode to wrestling legend Mick Foley to start round two, only to be knocked out cold by a chair shot from The Heartbreak King who immediately began his second round piece. Struggling through the shock and haze of being attacked mid-verse, Rat Bastard emerged to drop not one, but two chairs onto former President Miller, then cradling him in a pin attempt and succeedws in getting a two count before The Showstopper got a shoulder up, finished his piece and took home a victory in round two!!

Calling on some help of his own, Ratpack brought out his own table after Anthony's 3rd piece and handily took the round, much to the the amazement of the Heartbreak King, who was even more amazed when newly inducted N.P.O. member Big Nate Da Poet came from nowhere, denounced the N.P.O. for not accepting him when he first applied for membership three months ago, and laid another chair across Anthony's back, knocking him out cold. Caligula 6 was still with him though, and Lee Knight, Jr dropped a chair onto Nate's head before Caligula 6 teamed up once again, pummeling the Big Man as he tried to escape down the aisle!!

Unperturbed, Ratpack Finished his piece and was about to claim victory when The Showstopper amazingly dragged himself up by his mic stand to deliver a final poem from the top of a 20 foot ladder, bringing the crowd to its feet with chants of HBK! HBK! and snatching victory from the jaws of defeat and betrayal!!!

The N.P.O. looks on as Ratpack opens the bout...

...but Ratpack Slim was not without posse of his own!

The devastation begins....

...Rat Bastard gets a two count...

...Return of the King - WPF Style!

Betrayal by The Big man!!

That's why they call him The Showstopper!

Beaten but never defeated - your winner!!

Major $200 Announcement!!

As promised, Ref Aahz had a major announcement to make during this edition of WPF: Melee...

At the next Melee, on Saturday June 19th, we will crown a new WPF: Melee Champion as a result of The $200 Gauntlet!  The $200 Gauntlet is a multi-tier, single elimination tournament.  Full details and sign-up here!

WPF General Manager
What Don't You Get?

knutzythebunny's addendum to the show report...</span>


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